The best way to interact with your lacrosse coach is to communicate respectfully, directly and at the right time. Ask for specific feedback, such as what one thing you can improve this week. Speak up about injuries immediately to your coach and athletic trainer, let your coach know about absences as early as possible, and handle disagreements or playing time questions in a calm, private conversation before or after practice rather than right after a loss. At high school age and older, players should usually speak for themselves first, with parents involved when needed. Showing that you listen, apply feedback and work hard builds trust with your coach, which often leads to a better experience and more opportunities.
Why communication with your coach matters
Coaches make decisions about playing time, positions and team roles based on what they see and what they know about each player. When you communicate well, your coach understands your goals, concerns and progress. Good communication also helps you learn faster, since you know exactly what to work on. On the other hand, poor communication, such as complaining to teammates instead of talking to the coach, hiding injuries or arguing after games, can damage trust and make your season harder.
Communication tips by situation
| Situation | Approach |
|---|---|
| Feedback | Ask what one thing you can improve this week |
| Playing time | Ask what you need to do to earn more minutes |
| Injuries | Tell the coach and athletic trainer immediately |
| Absences | Notify the coach as early as possible |
| Disagreements | Request a private meeting and stay calm |
| Position changes | Ask about the reasoning and how you can succeed in the new role |
| Personal issues | Share what affects your participation, as you feel comfortable |
Asking for feedback
Coaches appreciate players who want to improve. Instead of asking a vague question like how am I doing, ask something specific, such as what is one part of my game I should work on this week or what did you see from me in the last game that I can improve. Listen carefully, take notes if helpful and thank your coach. Then work on that area and show progress in practice. Following up a few weeks later shows you took the feedback seriously.
Talking about playing time
Playing time is one of the most sensitive topics in sports. If you want more minutes, schedule a time to talk rather than bringing it up during practice or right after a game. Focus the conversation on what you can control: ask what you need to do to earn more playing time and which skills or habits would help. Avoid comparing yourself to teammates or questioning past decisions. Accept the answer respectfully, even if it is hard to hear, and use it as a plan for improvement.
Reporting injuries
Always tell your coach and athletic trainer about injuries right away, including signs of a possible concussion such as headache, dizziness or confusion. Playing through an injury can make it worse and may put you at risk. Coaches want healthy players, and reporting injuries early helps you get proper care and return safely. Health note: this article is general information, not medical advice; follow the guidance of a qualified medical professional for any injury.
Handling absences and conflicts
Let your coach know about planned absences, such as family events, exams or appointments, as early as possible. If something unexpected happens, contact your coach before practice or a game if you can. Following team policies on absences shows respect for your coach and teammates. For schedule conflicts with other activities, talk with your coach early so you can find a solution together.
Handling disagreements
You may sometimes disagree with a coach’s decision about positions, playing time or strategy. Wait until emotions have cooled, then ask for a private meeting. Explain your perspective calmly, listen to your coach’s reasoning and look for a constructive next step. Avoid arguing in front of teammates or on social media. If a serious concern cannot be resolved, such as a safety issue or inappropriate behavior, talk with a parent and follow your school or club’s procedures for raising concerns with administrators.
When parents should get involved
For younger players, parents often handle communication with coaches. As players reach high school age, most coaches prefer that players speak for themselves first, which builds maturity and independence. Parents can step in for serious issues such as health, safety, safeguarding or unresolved conflicts, ideally after the player has tried to address the situation. Many programs use a 24-hour rule, asking families to wait a day after games before raising concerns.
Showing you are coachable
Coaches notice how players respond to instruction. Being coachable means listening without interrupting, making eye contact, nodding to show you understand, and trying the correction right away, even if it feels awkward at first. When a coach corrects a mistake, avoid making excuses or arguing in the moment. Instead, say you understand and show improvement on the next rep. Coachable players often earn more trust, more responsibility and more playing time, because coaches know they can rely on them to learn and adapt. Coachability is a skill you can practice, just like shooting or ground balls.
Using team communication channels
Many teams use group apps, email or messaging platforms to share schedules and updates. Check these channels regularly so you do not miss important information. When you message your coach, keep it brief, clear and respectful, and follow your team’s policies. For younger players, safeguarding rules often require communication to include parents or happen in group settings. Save sensitive conversations, such as concerns about playing time or personal issues, for in-person or phone conversations rather than long text messages.
Building a positive relationship
A good relationship with your coach develops over time through consistent effort, reliability and respect. Arrive on time, work hard in every drill, support your teammates and show enthusiasm for improving. Thank your coach occasionally for their time and guidance. Coaches often become important mentors, offering advice about lacrosse, school and life, and many can help with college recruiting through recommendations. The trust you build now can benefit you for years.
How to communicate well step by step
- Choose the right time, such as before or after practice.
- Be specific about what you want to discuss.
- Stay calm and respectful, even if you are frustrated.
- Listen more than you talk.
- Focus on what you can control.
- Thank your coach for their time.
- Follow up by applying the feedback and checking in later.
Common mistakes to avoid
- Confronting the coach right after a game.
- Complaining to teammates instead of the coach.
- Hiding injuries to keep playing.
- Comparing yourself to teammates in conversations.
- Letting parents handle everything at older ages.
- Ignoring feedback after asking for it.
Frequently asked questions
Should I talk to my lacrosse coach or should my parents?
At high school age, players should usually speak first. Parents can get involved for serious issues or if concerns are not resolved.
When is the best time to talk to a lacrosse coach?
Before or after practice, not right after a game when emotions are high.
How do I ask my coach about playing time?
Schedule a private conversation and ask what you need to improve to earn more minutes, focusing on what you can control.
